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Far Out Magazine, 2025
Even though it feels as if we’re going backwards, there was once a time when self-examination entered the public sphere and became a subtle trademark of wealth and privilege, with a select group of high-society folks using their powers to invest in something deeper than stocks and Sothebies auctions—themselves. Therapy was no longer taboo for those who didn’t really need it, with some people using it as a facade of self-awareness and a method of deflecting accountability (because sometimes, your shitty behaviour is actually not your fault and entirely related to trauma you endured after your hamster died 15 years ago). An active involvement in current issues, especially politics, became trendy, even if this only meant donating to non-offensive causes related to almost-extinct tree frogs and turning a blind eye to anything more pressing (the brand of moral compass carried by most celebrities).
It’s a specific type of performative social poison that has slowly swept the internet in recent years, despite the fact the beginnings of this movement weren’t always so hollow. Many people feel nostalgic for the past, and perhaps the swinging sixties are most unanimously agreed as the ultimate “time to be alive” that we were never a part of. It was a time of social change and political upheaval—man went to the moon while Black folks were fighting for civil rights in the United States. Another wave of feminism made its sweep, and counter-culture movements emerged that permanently changed the creative landscape and opened up new avenues of expression, namely, the invention of the mini skirt.
While the times were genuinely changing, there were many people who were affected by this social upheaval in a unique way, cushioned by their own privilege and embracing this new-age philosophy in a way that other people couldn’t. There were many white, upper-class Americans who welcomed this era of enlightenment with open arms, particularly resonating with one aspect of this public reckoning that encouraged sexual freedom and liberation, expanding the confines of their bedroom walls and breaking free from limiting romantic norms. Despite the vast number of films that emerged from this movement, there is one in particular that captures the many joys and contradictions of this cultural shift, namely, the luminous Bob & Carole & Ted & Alice.
Directed in 1969 by Paul Mazursky, Bob & Carole & Ted & Alice is set at the turn of the century and the beginning of a sexual coming-of-age, following a couple called Bob and Carole who attend a group therapy session at ‘The Institute’ for a weekend and find themselves surprisingly touched and changed by the experience. After returning to their home in Los Angeles, the couple enthusiastically share their experiences at the retreat with Ted and Alice, with their newfound philosophy causing rifts in their friendship as they embrace the values of the future, while their friends express their unease over this new way of living.
The film is one of the more profound sex comedies of the sixties, with an existentialist undercurrent that interweaves ideology from both pools of thought, exploring the validity and consequences of this philosophy in a frank way by creating a film explicitly about sex. At the time, this was practically unheard of, with previous sex comedies looking at the act in a much more covert and discreet way, and often through a male-centric and slightly childish lens. Although sex might have been approached slyly, many audiences couldn’t believe that they were seeing allusions to this subject matter onscreen, slowly opening up a whole new genre of cinema.
This paved the way for Bob & Carole & Ted & Alice, which was matter-of-fact in its depiction of the sexual revolution and broke new ground by not being synonymous with hippies or ‘free thinkers’, instead centering around the wealthy American elite as the prime targets of this movement. Those who had the money and status could afford experimentation within a previously taboo remit, and regardless of public opinion on the movement, they were seen as classy pioneers of modernity for adopting such progressive ideas.
From the opening scene of the film, ‘The Institute’ becomes a symbol of this new-age way of thinking and the blossoming era of sexual freedom, with the beginning shots showing a picturesque cabin in which people walk around and lounge outdoors entirely naked. At first, Bob and Carole are extremely doubtful about the therapy, exchanging mocking glances as they judge the other couples for being indoctrinated by this bohemian mindset. However, after engaging in an all-night exercise while being coached by some kind of spiritual healer, the couple find themselves unexpectedly and profoundly moved by their experience, breaking down into tears and letting go of their inhibitions. After this point, the couple becomes completely besotted by what they have learned at the retreat, embracing a new way of life that revolves around radical honesty and openness in expressing/acting on your desires. Bob and Carole are irrevocably changed, and after returning home, we see the rift that this causes in their social circle.
While everything seems fine and dandy, with Bob and Carole viewing life with rose-tinted glasses (which becomes distinctly annoying to their friends Ted and Alice), the conflict of the film arises after Bob cheats on Carole while on a work trip, and in line with their radical honesty, he decides to tell Carole about it. This highlights an interesting divide in their relationship and differing commitment towards this philosophy. Surprisingly, Carole is almost indifferent to this news, then praising Bob for his honesty and viewing it as a “gift” that he has shared it with her. Naturally, Bob is flummoxed, and, at first, he reacts with hostility towards her reaction, not believing it to be real. Afterwards, he aligns with her perspective and allows himself to feel no regret over his mistake, because the biggest mistake would be to be dishonest about it.
From this point onwards, Bob and Carole come across as an annoyingly perfect couple—completely infatuated with each other and thriving in spite of Bob’s honest mistake. But while they are flourishing within the framework of this ideology, Ted and Alice become increasingly disturbed by their state of enlightenment, and their way of looking at the world is shattered after hearing their friends talk openly about Bob’s infidelity.
Ted and Alice are the ultimate image of tradition, entrenched in fairly old-fashioned ideas and threatened by the looming ideals of modernity that would disrupt their entire way of living. But after the pair have an argument about Bob’s infidelity and Carole’s disturbing frankness in discussing it, we realise that their traditional values are more limiting than they are comfortable, with Ted having a comical tantrum about their stagnant sex life and expressing a desire to reanimate their physical relationship.
‘The Institute’ becomes a reflection of the times they are living in, with Ted and Alice falling behind as this new way of thinking spreads through their social circles. This new philosophy gives Carole a new sense of purpose and vitality, firmly committing to these ideas and using them to take back power. Bob is a documentarian and Carole is a housewife, and the emergence of these ideas provide her with a newfound perspective that offers more freedom, with Carole beginning in her own affair and telling Bob about it in the same matter-of-fact way.
As the film goes on, we see both couples discussing their values and thoughts on monogamy, with Ted eventually cracking and telling Bob about a sexual encounter he almost had on a business trip, describing the excitement and thrill he felt over the prospect of an affair.
Interestingly, both men have economic freedom through their ability to work and have careers, while their wives do not due to the expectation that they stay at home to care for the children. Perhaps Carole latched onto this ideology so intensely and was more sincere in adopting it due to the novelty of the freedom previously not granted to her within the restrictions of fulfilling a traditional role in the family unit. For Carole, it was a way to break free from the confines of a heterosexual marriage and a life defined by her role in the home, doing so by having sex with men who weren’t her husband. This philosophy imbued a sense of fluidity into an otherwise rigid system; a fluidity that she perhaps needed more than her husband, who was able to bend the rules while travelling abroad, going on work trips and indulging in sexual temptations outside of their marriage.
This is an idea that becomes particularly prevalent towards the end of the film, with Alice attending a therapy session after being disturbed by her friend’s exercise of sexual freedom and deciding to air her concerns with a psychologist. During the session, they discuss her discomfort around sex in general, revealing Alice to be extremely sexually repressed and most in need of the liberation that Carole has discovered. While discussing her sexual desires during the session, she accidentally refers to Bob instead of her husband. She is quick to dismiss this and laughs it away as a Freudian slip, but it points to a larger idea that arises in the final scene.
Towards the very end of the film, both couples go away for a weekend to watch a concert, with all four meeting in a hotel room beforehand. This is perhaps the most revealing moment of the entire film, with Bob and Carole divulging that Carole has embarked on her own affair and sparking uproar from Alice at their casual indifference in revealing this, with Ted subsequently exploding and sharing that he recently cheated on Alice. Everything comes out into the open, with the mood souring as both couples simmer in this revelation that Ted has finally moved over to the dark side.
Just when you expect Alice’s head to implode, she launches into a crazed tirade about how the four of them should sleep together, making the assumption that this is a secret desire the group have hidden throughout the entirety of their friendship. It seems as though this is the idea she has been secretly harbouring this whole time, suddenly exclaiming, “I am being honest! I am doing what I feel like doing! I feel like doing what we came up here to do! Orgy! Have an orgy!”
And at last, we arrive at the sexual catharsis that Alice has been silently yearning for this whole time, unabashedly expressing her secret desire to sleep with Bob and break free from the stifling confines of her traditional marriage, resorting to a relationship that reflects the same structure as Bob and Carole’s.
Through this film, Mazursky explores the unique offer of sexual liberation and non-monogamy made available to Carole and Alice, allowing them to expand the confines of their homes and empowering them to challenge the rigidity of assigned gender roles. During the final scene, Alice finally cracks and reveals what she has been unable to say this whole time, feeling shame over expressing her sexual needs until Carole’s breakthrough caused a crack in her facade of the traditional housewife, letting go of her inhibitions and openly sharing what she wants from her sex life.
But as much as they want to explore this avenue of sexual expression and act on the values they desperately want to embody, the final scene offers a more cynical interpretation of their ability to maintain this philosophy. After both couples jump into bed together, Mazursky then cuts to a shot of them leaving the hotel room as they head to the concert, ending with a dream-like sequence where they walk outside and find themselves in a huge group of people engaging in the same therapy exercise as in the very beginning of the film.
While it links back to ‘The Institute’ and their very first exercise of connection/expression, the decision to end on this surrealist tone almost seems to mock their philosophy and the bubble they have created for themselves. We end in this circle of strangers who gaze into each other’s eyes, holding hands and slowly waking up to the delusion of these ideas. Because ultimately, they can play around with non-monogamy, but even in all of their enlightened glory, there’s one line they just cannot cross - the idea of sleeping together is one thing, but they cannot bring themselves to complete the physical act itself.
Mazursky points to a very nihilistic message about the differences between men and women in expressing this sexual freedom, with Bob and Ted being able to do this without consequence through their working lives and something that they can continue regardless of this philosophy. But for Carole and Alice, the framework of their everyday existence does not truly allow it, with both women perhaps needing the ideas of ‘The Institute’ in order to find a new way of resisting the confines of their lives. Perhaps unknowingly, Carole treats it as an exercise in resistance and rebellion, with Alice taking more time to uncover her repressed sexual desires before erupting with honesty at her sexual attraction towards Bob. While this movement is an opportunity for Bob and Ted to cheat without consequence and indulge in their sexual fantasies, it is a chance for Carole and Alice to experience the same kind of freedom that they have without being shamed for it, allowing them to break free from the gender roles that normalise a life devoted to the home with no emphasis on their needs or desires outside of it.
While Mazursky explores the potential of this philosophy and its power to bring people together, he also paints it as an unsustainable and futile pursuit that cannot be sustained, with both couples initially looking at each other with curiosity and excitement when walking into the bedroom before the illusion is shattered by the act of kissing. A kiss almost makes it too intimate, too real. And while we don’t know whether they had sex, Mazursky seemingly implies that they didn’t complete the deed by showing their sheepish glances at each other, sitting upright in bed with an air of slight awkwardness and apprehension. Reality finally rears its head, confronting both couples with the limitations of this philosophy and the anticlimactic end of their sexual tether.
But despite this, there’s a tone of innocence and resignation during the final scenes of Bob & Carole & Ted & Alice, because for all their talk, sometimes it is more fun just to indulge in the idea of doing something. And when the theoretical becomes a reality, the magical freedom of these imagined possibilities slowly fades away, bidding them a return to the sobering familiarity of tradition and their old lives.